Drive: Voicing your goals

What drives you to do what you do? Why do you play the guitar, go to the gym, watch sports or spend hours refining your skills and gaining knowledge, generally doing things which are, in a practical sense, not a very productive way to spend your time.

What drives you?

More than anything, we get our drive through intrinsic motivation. Simply put, you motivate yourself by creating reasons to feel good about what you do. As soon as you have enough of a reason for doing something that doing it will give you a greater reward or smaller punishment than not doing it, you do it.

You are driven by having a sense of autonomy, the feeling that you are self-directed; by having a feeling of mastery and experiencing that you are good at something; and by having a sense of purpose.

Now, unsolicited projects -- activities you only do for their own sake -- are often some of the more rewarding things you can do. They are your hobbies, lifestyle choices and goals, and it feels good doing it.

Now, think about your next big goal in life.

No, really. Take a moment. And think.

Now, imagine telling someone about that goal—mediating your passion and decision to go through with it and change your ways and make an effort. Doesn't that feel good? Doesn't it feel like it's becoming part of you?

This feeling; that feeling of acknowledgement is a drug with a nasty side-effect. The notion has existed ever since Kurt Lewin proposed it in 1926 that voicing you goals decreases your chance of realizing it. It is a concept in psychology called substitution. In a social setting, you get acknowledgement for having changed your ways or for striving for something better, and so you feel that you already have gotten some of the acknowledgement you would receive for reaching your goal. In other words, you get the feeling that you have already reached your goal.

Your mind mistakes the talking for doing.

As such, the next time you really want to announce your goals, either try not to or announce them in a way that does not give you any satisfaction. Say that "I really want to run that marathon, so I have to run at least three times each week, and kick my ass if I don't!" rather than "I'm running three times 'a week now," expecting acknowledgement for it (don't lie to yourself; you know you yearn for acknowledgement).

Strive to reach your goals—brag about it when you do.