Unnskyldninger

Unnskyldninger

Mange har unnskyldninger for alt. Til og med for det de bør vite er greit uansett. Beklager, sier de.

"unnskyld"

Til slutt blir det sagt så ofte at det ikke betyr noe lenger.

Det har til og med et navn:
Semantisk metning:
Resultatet av å høre et ord eller en frase såpass mange ganger at det ikke lenger har noen betydning. Det degenereres. Faller fra hverandre til en serie kakofoniske lyder. Til slutt er du ikke en gang sikker på hvorvidt du klarer sette lydene i rett rekkefølge. Kakofoni. Kakofoni. Ka-ko-fo-ni. Kakofoni. Kakafoni. Kokofani. Kokafoni?

unnskyld

Det er ofte dem som hadde en venn som var Litt Høyere enn dem.
Litt Høyere i hatten,
Litt Høyere på pæra,
Litt Høyere på si egen stemme.
Litt Høyere.
Litt flinkere til å se ned på.

Noen ganger har jeg lyst til å plukke opp den spake unnskyldningen.
Plukke den opp og sette den foran et speil og si se på deg selv. Rull skuldrene tilbake. Hev blikket fra skolissene opp til fortauskanten; fra fortauskanten opp til horisonten; fra horisonten til ditt å møte ditt eget blikk i speilet; og si ingenting.

pust. sakte.

lukk øynene og åpne dem igjen.

Se på meg. Jeg ser på deg. Ikke den du prøver å være. Ikke den du prøver å skjule. Ikke dem du gjemmer deg for og ikke tankene du tror du ikke bør tenke. Jeg ser på deg. Kjenner du det bak alle murene du har satt opp?

Jeg håper det. Jeg håper du kan tro meg når jeg sier jeg ler oppriktig. Når jeg sier at det ikke bare er greit at du snakker om deg selv, men at det er fint.

Og hver gang du ler er det så godt å se at du klarer å finne deg selv.
At du kommer ett skritt nærmere å ikke trenge å si

unnskyld

Productivity: Information Bombardment and Mental Isolation

The world today is a hectic place. Especially if you are an active internet connoiseur, and in particular if you are involved with larger parts of the so-called Web 2.0 Movement, you ought to know what I'm talking about. Twitter, near real-time mail checking, the facebook live feed, and now the new and shiny google instant all present us with a constant torrent of information.

Combine this with your information drug of choice, be that self-deceptive "research" on wikipedia, mindless surfing on Digg, slightly less mindless surfing on reddit, clicking through tvTropes, playing yet another flash-game on Kongregate, checking through your favourite blogs again, scrambling about on youtube, catching up on world news or clicking the StumbleUpon-button just one more time, and you are not unlikely to end up a reduced information-overloaded, somewhat agitated, desocialized pile of person with a lack of both actual focus and defined interests and a < 10 second attention span.

This makes it difficult to do much anything. You never really have time to settle into a mindset to do something, because you are constantly derailed by an urge to check a feed or a blog; click a link or a button. Are you able to sit down in front of a computer, mentally isolate yourself from the information and just do something for more than 20 minutes? I have found myself lured by the mezmerizing realm of the internet more than once, floating through the day (and night) on a wave of apathy, laziness and fascination, and now, I want to do something about it.

Starting next week, I will try to make myself into an effective working being with an increased attention span, increased reliability and, hopefully, increased knowledge (+5 mana (some geek jokes are always allowed; I just finished reading Scott Pilgrim)).

Don't commend me yet. I have yet to deserve it.

Will post updates.

Drive: Voicing your goals

What drives you to do what you do? Why do you play the guitar, go to the gym, watch sports or spend hours refining your skills and gaining knowledge, generally doing things which are, in a practical sense, not a very productive way to spend your time.

What drives you?

More than anything, we get our drive through intrinsic motivation. Simply put, you motivate yourself by creating reasons to feel good about what you do. As soon as you have enough of a reason for doing something that doing it will give you a greater reward or smaller punishment than not doing it, you do it.

You are driven by having a sense of autonomy, the feeling that you are self-directed; by having a feeling of mastery and experiencing that you are good at something; and by having a sense of purpose.

Now, unsolicited projects -- activities you only do for their own sake -- are often some of the more rewarding things you can do. They are your hobbies, lifestyle choices and goals, and it feels good doing it.

Now, think about your next big goal in life.

No, really. Take a moment. And think.

Now, imagine telling someone about that goal—mediating your passion and decision to go through with it and change your ways and make an effort. Doesn't that feel good? Doesn't it feel like it's becoming part of you?

This feeling; that feeling of acknowledgement is a drug with a nasty side-effect. The notion has existed ever since Kurt Lewin proposed it in 1926 that voicing you goals decreases your chance of realizing it. It is a concept in psychology called substitution. In a social setting, you get acknowledgement for having changed your ways or for striving for something better, and so you feel that you already have gotten some of the acknowledgement you would receive for reaching your goal. In other words, you get the feeling that you have already reached your goal.

Your mind mistakes the talking for doing.

As such, the next time you really want to announce your goals, either try not to or announce them in a way that does not give you any satisfaction. Say that "I really want to run that marathon, so I have to run at least three times each week, and kick my ass if I don't!" rather than "I'm running three times 'a week now," expecting acknowledgement for it (don't lie to yourself; you know you yearn for acknowledgement).

Strive to reach your goals—brag about it when you do.