How you're supposed to tell stories

I noticed it the other day when a friend of mine asked me about my trip to Singapore and Malaysia. Or rather, I noticed after I had talked a bit about it and asked her about her trip to the Philippines.

I tell boring stories. Or rather, I don't tell stories as they should be told. And in a flash of apparent insight, I realized why some people not only always seem to have something to talk about, but they also seem to have a boundless bounty of stories from every single event they participated in.

The thing is, I'm not the only one who does this wrong. Lots of people do, and experience time and time again that they have tried to explain a fantastic moment or incredible event, and see how their listeners either trail off into other thoughts or change the subject. It often has little to do with how a particular part of the story unfolds, and usually has even less to do with the story itself; it is a matter of how the person telling the story has re-imagined it before telling it!

As I said, I noticed this as I do this the wrong way myself. I'll try to explain. Whenever I tell a story, or rather talk about a trip or recent event, I have a habit of doing it chronologically. I start at the beginning, listing what happened and what was entertaining and fun, finishing as I get to the end of the event. There are three major problems with this approach:

Firstly, chances are slim that anyone wants to hear every single detail and know about everything that happened during most any trip. And even if they do, it would be getter not to give out everything at once.

Secondly, you leave yourself no bits and pieces of the event for later storytelling. You won't really have the chance of saying "apropos that, once on my trip to the tundra..." or where ever without talking about something you've already mentioned earlier.

Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, this mode of storytelling is often nearly completely one-sided. You have already decided that you are going to tell this story, and so you easily rant on, often being a bit too prolix, reveling a bit in hearing your own voice and knowing that someone else is listening too. And so it is hard for others to interject, ask and comment as you go, because you swiftly jump to a new subject or the next thing that happened before anyone has the chance to say anything — as soon as the conversation becomes a monologue, it is destined to be doomed.

Listening to Kathrine describing some of her experiences made me realize how this affliction of prolix and bland storytelling can be mended. The first thing you should do is think of one of the most memorable things that happened, and then you should explain how great that single memory is. Now, here is the important part: Leave spaces where any listener(s) might want to ask about something or add a little comment. Don't be afraid to stray from the original course of the conversation. Don't be too intent on having to tell all of it at once, but treat it like any other discussion or conversation with more people involved.

Basically, you should just remember to always tell the stories you want to tell most, try to limit them to what you are most excited about, and remember to laugh a lot. so long as you do that, chances are you will have lots more stories to tell, get better responses from your listeners, and have more fun.

Man, that post nearly made me feel insightful.